Prequel: At O/our last meeting in October You mentioned i should come to visit You in Lyon once. The beautiful memories of Geneve in October are still on my mind: The great food, the pictures I took and You liked, the clip that sold several times especially on IWC, the playtime that was also amazing as always and where You pushed me so far. The Spa, the great privilege of being allowed to spend the night in Your presence (oh how afraid i was to disturb You in any way that night). On my drive home from Geneve i felt nothing less than reborn and my devotion even deeper than before.
November and December were super hard month at work i had to achieve one very ambitious goal and that was in fact only possible with Your moral support all Your well wishes all these encouragements: Thank You so much for this! Later You finished a custom clip for me that was so perfect, and I watch it over and over again. It feels so true, honest and personal. I cannot tell You how grateful i am for this clip. After returning form my Christmas/New Years trip to Berlin I thought of when we could meet again. You were in vacations in Senegal at this time and later going to Vegas so January was not possible and I thought of asking You again after Your trips. I really liked all Your content and messages from Vegas, it seemed You really felt home (i do not know if this feeling was correct though). You met many icons of the scene and it looked like You took Your rightful place among them. When in Vegas You announced a cuckolding clip and i noticed this going to touch my limits again (and i love how You push my limits). i thought of my fears, thought of how i felt about my submission, our relationship and i noticed something had changed: i feel a love for You that has never been so pure and not selfish as now.
The goal of my desire is Your well being, i desire to truly serve You for Your true benefit and well being. i am happy when my submissive/masochistic desires are fulfilled like a side project but this is not important, it is You, Your success and Your happiness. Maybe it became clear to me through the constant watching of the inspirational submission clip or maybe it was just about time to feel this pure submission. Therefore i noticed it doesn't matter what i would have to do, what You would demand from me, i would do my best to full will Your wishes. Even if it was cuckolding, forced bi or shitting in my mouth. These even appeal to me as they are a symbol of my total personal destruction, my total devotion to You which i accept and understand to be the essence of my arousal i am so glad i found such a responsible Mistress who I trust 100%, more than anyone else in the world and who is truly the center of my universe now.
Unfortunately You got sick in Vegas and stayed sick after Your return and I got very worried when You mentioned how much weight You lost and then it took longer than a week to recover for You. I hope to be more aware in the future. At some point after Vegas, however, I dared to ask if we could meet somehow and everything was up to You i.e. play no play just a coffee or even less. I felt knighted when You retweeted this and put me out as a positive example of a slave.
We agreed for a relatively early time in the beginning of March and seeing the Corona Crisis now this was the only possible time. I am very happy W/we made it. Throughout the time since O/our last meeting in fall I collected gifts: different reciotos, which I noticed was Your favourite wine but just before the meeting I had the idea for a mouth spreader, since in a few of Her clips You mentioned tools to open the mouth of the slave but never showed them and directly before leaving Zurich I also packed strawberries, beet, and Macaroons as well as an envelope with Your tribute that I hoped would make You happy.
Wednesday started beautifully, i brought my son to daycare and directly left for Lyon. It was a beautiful drive total time just 4h, I was so early, I took a bit longer break to pass the time when i was already in beautiful French Jura. I loved the landscape of France while driving through it and the streets were very free. I arrived in Lyon and the host could show me the apartment a bit earlier so I already entered and showered before You arrived in the street. I washed the strawberries put the wine in the fridge in case You wanted to drink some and placed the gifts nicely. When You arrived with a slight delay (You are always so polite to apologize although everything is to align after You, every date set means I am ready at that time You are ready when You are and always on time due to definition). W/we talked and i do not really remember about what. i just feel infinitely comfortable in Your presence and soon almost naked at Your feet ("since you said you are warm anyway: undress!").
i think we were talking about degradation, what kind of clips would sell and my state of submission. You are now absolute number one and i am grateful You look out for me and my son, Your power over me is without any comparison, and i trust You so much. Your torments are perfect to tease my desires but You do not destroy me physically, mentally, financially. To all of it You would have the power and I acknowledge it and this makes every encounter with You oh so much more exciting and arousing to me. But You even guide me and grow me Physically, mentally and financially.
Slowly the talk went into play (You do it so naturally, I love it) i gave You the gifts and Your wonderful smile and signs of happiness are just so overwhelming and i will always love it and stay addicted to it. It is just so much fun to hand You over a gift. The play started with testing out the mouth spreader. Spitting in my mouth and breathing in the seductive and intoxicating scent of Goddess Ibicella. i was quickly in a trance and like in a sub state at Your feet. i kneeled and looked up and You recorded clips for snapchat and mocked me with the big dicks You were talking to. i enjoyed every second of it. I think You enjoyed the mouth spreader, too. You removed the mouth spreader and started to feed me macaroons from Your mouth and not to let me choke and die (eventhough You whispered in my ear „you would probably like to die like that"- oh yes my Queen...). You were so close i could smell Your wonderful scent again and I was locked and looked in Your eyes as the pre-chewed mass was dropped in my mouth, again and again, it was heaven.
Your eyes, Your lips, Your scent and Your voice have probably the most power over me and i could happily die looking in these wonderful eyes if it was just to amuse You a little... At some moment You mentioned You had to pee and i was so hoping to be allowed to drink it. It is such a manifestation of degradation so hot to me to be more or less forced to drink or eat whatever is coming from Your body and be grateful for it. And the way You did it was so much more than this slave has ever dared to dream.
You made me go naked into the bathtub wear the mouth spreader and started the cold water. Oh how i suffered and how i loved this suffering and Your sadism. Completely helpless and truly brought to my limits pushing them just a notch further. What You have done so often and what i love You oh so much for. You made me beg for something warm, beg for Your urine, i love that twist so much, to beg myself for my destruction and demise. You made me close my eyes as i am of course not worthy to see Your divine pussy directly and released a heavy stream on my covering me in piss and peeing in my mouth a beautiful taste of defeat. i was in such a high state after that when You allowed me to shower. You even took a little clip and put it online and I still love seeing it.
W/we played quite long so we had to hurry up to make it for the dinner reservation You made. One of Your favourite and special restaurants, how honoured i felt and it was so close by. Thank You so much for the invite it was so delicious. And i was happy to follow Your lead with the food: pork belly, gyoza, sashimi, and green tea Creme brûlée. We talked a bit about forced intoxication, which i find very interesting but we dropped it this time as i might had to drive You home later. It was such a great social time W/we talked a lot and I enjoy it so much to talk about everything with You. I am happy You allowed me to float some ideas what could sell or not and what kind of ideas i have. i am very grateful You allow me that, i am perfectly aware that You manage Your business and do not need any help, i just find it so interesting to think about it and talk about it. W/we talked about cuckolding and if i could be some passive part of it. i notice my desire for degradation even destruction more and more and if it then can be a part of making a profit for You. Also, if I am able to film with You and You have less to film in the week, maybe You have less otherwise. These are my main motivations to film. It is also super hot for me to see a clip sold that I was a part of.
Back at the apartment I was at Your feet talking about Max and his girlfriend and Your power over him. We slaves of Yours can just me so happy to be allowed to be in Your presence. Also i confessed about my devotion. My devotion grew a lot in this year. Your are the number one and I want my main goal to be to contribute to Your happiness, I love You more than anything, I root for Your success daily. It is a new pure love I feel and I like it so much. You have exceptional power over me now, and i trust You like i never trusted anyone. I am very happy You want me to be a good dad, i am grateful You use power in such a way. Our conversation drifted into play time again. You bound me to a pillar with my belt and kicked me in the balls with Your knee again and again it was so painful but I have the feeling You enjoy it and I loved that. And filming it had such a resonance (over 30k viewers on twitter now).
I love Your sadism in a for me a little bit dangerous way, I guess. You bound me and choked me, oh how i love to be chocked by You, my life in Your hands. You really need no equipment to torture Your slave to oblivion I was in heaven. And when I saw this clip these days, I adored Your ponytail so much. Walking around me, i never knew what is next to come You are always a few steps ahead of me. This is what I dreamed since i have a memory. In between i felt so destroyed body and mind so an object of Your sadism. Your merciless knee again and again hitting my balls and my thigh. I dropped to my knee and You told me to get up in 3 seconds. Such a Goddess such superiority. I got up and You continues ed my beautiful torment. At the end of this play You left me there and told me to try to free myself. Another dream coming true. I sit down and slowly free my hands hearing a car aggressively drive away... was that You... i take a shower my head full of all the things that happened in this day. The beauty of this day was without comparison and probably the most wonderful day of my life till now. I sleep well with all these impressions.
To be continued...
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